I had intended to keep this blog light hearted and up beat. However, I'm not feeling too good today because of a long running problem and I thought it might do me good to write about it. (When I've finished I may not even press the "publish" button).
I'm sitting here, at the keyboard, trying to type properly. You can't tell, of course, because I keep going back to correct things! I am suffering from a vertigo-like attack which I call "wobbling" and have done for nearly seven years. It's not really vertigo although I do feel slightly dizzy and I have trouble balancing when it happens. Its almost like that feeling you get when you're going to faint but without the tunnel vision and the buzzing in the ears. When I'm walking, I feel like I'm on the deck of a big ship when there's a big swell running. I have to be really careful - the last time I fell over while wobbling I broke my elbow! Stairs scare the life out of me!
It started on 1st November 2003. I was in a big building, built out over a cliff and there was a gale blowing. I thought I could feel the building flexing and moving under my feet but it seemed nobody else noticed this weird effect. Two weeks later it was still doing it so I went to the doctor. Her first diagnosis was labyrinthitis. It might take a while but it would clear up eventually. It didn't, of course, so she sent me to a specialist. I've had all sorts of tests and scans (I do have a brain, I've seen it and got the photo!) but they can't tell what is wrong with me. I was in the UK then and all this testing and visiting specialists takes a long time over there. In the meantime, I was still trying to work. I couldn't concentrate on anything when I was wobbling (you have no idea how long it's taken me to type this!) and I kept making mistakes. Bookkeepers who make mistakes are a liability. The fact that I worked in a wood working factory didn't help. My boss was worried that I'd fall into something lethal! I had to give up in the end.
Here, in Spain, I am again going through the process of all those tests and scans (they have done some that the UK never did) and I am hoping that the specialist will have some clue what my condition is. Just giving it a name would help.
It makes me feel very depressed and tired but, the odd thing is, when I am not wobbling, I cannot recall the feeling at all. I have to describe it to myself, when it's happening, and then use those words to tell the doctor what it's like. If anybody out there, reading this, recognizes this, please do get in touch.
Sorry for the down beat post, I promise I'll do better next time!